"The VBAC Doula" for the Charlotte Area
Our coaching from our doula was worth every cent and should we ever be blessed with another child, I would do it
again in a heartbeat. There was no magic, no intrusion, no voodoo or anything that she did that remotely came close
to replacing me. I was freed up to take a nap during the dull points, but given freedom to do what I thought
necessary to support my wife during the “good parts”.
— Mike Zibell
Why would she need a doula? She’s got me!
- When I’m working with a couple, it’s not ALL about the mom. It’s about YOU too. Here’s how
I support dad’s during pregnancy, labor and birth:
- During pregnancy, I work with you both to make sure you not only know WHAT mom wants, but WHY
she wants it. So when the time arrives, you will know how to advocate for her when she’s "busy"
with her labor.
- "Should it take this long?", "Is it okay to do xyz?", "Is that normal?", "When should we leave
for the hospital?" — I am there to answer questions. I also have a lot of experience with the wide
range of normal during labor. I know what’s normal and what is not. I can be there to assure you
when things are normal, as well as keep a trained eye out for anything that might need attention.
- At some point, you’re going to need to eat or use the restroom. I’m there to step in so you can
tend to your body’s needs without worrying about leaving her alone.
- Labor can take a long time. 18-36 hours is not unusual. Mom has the assistance of hormones to
keep her going. You, however, do not. Dads often become exhausted before baby arrives. I am there
to spell you so you can take a little break or even catch a short nap so you can be awake and focused
when your baby does arrive. I can also help you manage your energy levels by reminding you to eat and
drink and how to provide physical support without wearing yourself out.
- Speaking of wearing yourself out...if mom has been walking for the last 4 hours and you just can’t
go another lap...I’m there to relieve you. If mom has back labor and need continuous counter-pressure
on her lower back, and your arms are about to fall off...I’m there to give you a break. I can also give
YOU a back/shoulder massage while you give mom the counter-pressure she needs.
- So, things are moving along nicely and mom wants her back rubbed. Only, every time you touch her,
she growls at you. I’m there to show you HOW to massage her in a way that soothes her rather than irritating
her.
- If/when your care provider suggests some kind of intervention, and you need to make a decision, but
can’t remember what your childbirth educator said about that procedure...I’m there to remind you of
risk/benefit/alternative information so the two of you can make an informed choice.
- If, for any reason, mom and baby need to be separated, I can stay with one while you stay with the other.
This way, no one is left alone with no one to advocate for them.
- Once baby arrives, I can help out with taking photos of the whole family for you to send to your friends
and family announcing your new arrival.
To be clear, I’m not there to replace you. I’m there to SUPPORT you and ENHANCE you. At the end of the day, when
she holds that sweet baby in her arms for the first time, you’ll still be her hero that always knew “just” what she
needed during her labor.
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More reading about dads and doulas:
5 Reasons Dads Should Demand a Doula
Dads and Doulas: Key Players on Mother's Labor Support Team
Dads and Doulas: Working Together
A Help for Fathers During the Labor and Birth of Their Child
Do Doulas Replace Dads?
Why I advocate for the dad and doula relationship
Study Finds Men Need More Support Before, After Child Birth
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